I AM CALLEDAND YOU ARE NOT

BY: KESI NEBLETT

In Coretta Scott King’s autobiography, My Life, My Love, My Legacy, Mrs. Scott-King recalls a discussion with Martin Luther King Jr. about the children getting proper attention from both parents. Dr. King states, “You see, I am called, and you are not”. To which the resolved Coretta responds, “I’ve always felt that I have a call on my life, too.” This discussion makes us wonder what Dr. King envisioned Coretta’s future to be years ago during their courtship.  On their first date, King confessed that Coretta had each of the four qualities he valued in a wife: character, personality, intelligence, and beauty. He, in fact, wanted a partner that was phenomenal. But what is the place of a phenomenal women next to a powerful man? 

The question of roles within a power couple cannot be asked in isolation. Who takes care of the kids? Is the woman only prominent as a byproduct of the man’s prominence? If the man’s role is critical to society, should the woman simply accept the position of support for the greater good?  Is the woman’s calling just as important as her partners? 

In our search for answers, we will first establish a woman living without purpose is a human living without purpose: full of voids. Perhaps Coretta was not called to lead the civil rights movement using the same methods as King. But she was undoubtedly called to lead the fight for human rights using her own gifts. Only four days after MLK was murdered, Coretta spoke at the Lorain hotel, the very place of Kings his assassination. Her background in international relations helped her pioneer the anti-Vietnam war campaign. She would become an icon receiving the peace prize in Italy, training activists on non-violence in South Africa, and establishing a globally acclaimed institution. Although Coretta’s prominence is connected to the vacuum left by MLK’s death, in current society, we see that it is possible for a power couple to equally oscillate between supporting their partners and excelling in their profession. Record breaking Grammy winning artists, Beyonce and Jay-Z show us that two ambitious leaders can coexist. The questions of family, societal significance, and prominence is not a hinderance but equally navigated between the couple.

What happens when a power couple is dedicated to ensuring the other operates in their calling, but the public and media gravitates to an individual? Mrs. Scott-King explains that the public’s preference for King over Ralph Abernathy was a source of contention between the colleagues and best friends. She writes, “Martin did everything he could to push Ralph forward, but he had no control over how he was positioned in media.” Dr. King’s gifts were so strong, “We were all in Martin’s shadow.”  We know King, but few of us know Abernathy. But there is a difference between accreditation and public admiration. Public admiration is vain. Accreditation is essential. It is the responsibility for both partners to ensure that history accurately accredits and documents those who are critical to our success. 

Lastly, how do we thank our significant others? Coretta recalls a significant memory where MLK thanks Coretta publicly, stating that all that he is able to be is due to Coretta. MLK not only publicly thanked her but Coretta describes how MLK helped with cleaning the home, cooking, and other domestic responsibilities. Coretta describes how she always felt loved and appreciated. In Malcom and Marie, Zendaya’s profound monologue reveals that all she wanted was Malcom to thank her during his movie premiere. Our public proclamations of gratitude and private servitude ensure we do not take each other for granted. 

The first place I saw the difficulties establishing roles within a couple was with my parents. My father’s involvement with the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee came with imprisonment and political backlash, but it also came with Carnegie Hall performances and White House invitations. For as long as I can remember, my mother was a home maker and my father’s business manager. My father often accused my mother of being power hungry and trying to control his friendships and business ventures. I believe there is some truth to his accusations. But I also believe that he has casted a stone and hid his hand. That at some point in their relationship, he believed he was called, and she was not…